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Author Topic: For Fathers & Mothers
Mike Rule
Member # 2

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Several years ago I had a typical full day of counseling when someone showed up unexpectedly wanting to talk with me about a parenting problem. She was very exasperated and frustrated that their college age son would not obey her and her husband. After probing her mindset and challenging her thinking it was obvious that there was a stronghold of unbelief that needed to be confronted. The Lord only gave me 6 simple words to ask… “How is that working for you?” She did not know what I meant, so I asked it again, “How is that working for you?” She still did not know what I meant so I asked on more time, “How is that working for you?” Then I clarified, “How what you believe about what your son birthing the fruit of the Spirit within you?” She stared at me for a moment before breaking into tears, and sobbing, it’s not; it’s not at all…

We do not rule our beliefs, our beliefs rule us. While we desire the very best for our children, when our children come of age, we have to come to the place of letting go, releasing control and leaving them in the hands of the Lord. More rebellions and frustration is bred into teen and young adult children by excessive control and lack of freedom than anything else. That rebellion can actually be healthy and good, although unfortunately it most often expresses itself in very unhealthy ways.

Jesus tells us not to be burdened by a yoke of slavery. Parents often do not realize the yoke of slavery that are burdening their children with. We cannot demand submission from teens and young adults with out breeding anger, and resentment. Our children were given to us so we could set them free. We want to build a relationship with healthy respect, and love, with mutual submission to the Lord. It is built on respect and not obedience. This is difficult for us to come to terms with.

We need to have authority when our children are young, and we lead them and teach then to obey out of duty. But along with that we are working them towards freedom and devotion out of love. That starts with us. This is a picture of God’s heart towards us as His children. He has authority and He is not afraid to use it if He needs to, but that is not His best, nor is it his deepest desire. He wants to lead us by the influence of an intimate relationship. He accepts us when we submit to Him when we are doing it because we think we have to, but He is deeply pleased when we submit to him because we WANT to.

How do you relate to God? Are you obedient because you are afraid He will punish you and be displeased with you if you disobey, or have you come to the place where you love Him and know He will accept you and love you no matter how you behave? Remember, as we view Him, we will also treat one another. And it is His kindness that leads us to repentance, not His authority.

Posts: 605 | From: Cass City, Michigan USA | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8

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I am learning to recognize His voice which I do believe is always soft, kind, building up, loving etc. I was listening to another voice and God let me to follow that voice and to experience that this was not our Good Shepherd's voice.
Posts: 51 | From: Latvia | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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